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Saturday, February 12, 2011

A Glance

Do you ever just look in the mirror, and truly look at yourself? Look into your own eyes, trying to pierce through and see the soul that lies within? It surprises me sometimes, to see the life behind those eyes, and know that it's mine. We spend so much time looking through the window of our bodies that to stop and see the being that we are can be almost a revelation.

I wonder, as I look into those blue eyes, what secrets lie beneath. What deep potential lies dormant there, waiting just beneath my fingertips? What eternities of wisdom are held within that hidden soul? What love rests deep within, for beings I do not know?

I think we are too often in the habit of degrading ourselves, of making ourselves into fallen and broken people. In an effort to bring attention to what maintenance we need, we end up declaring the whole thing a mess. What's worse, we begin to believe it.

But just a few moments before a mirror, peering into the eyes we look out of so much, and we feel the inklings of the reality of who we are. We find there a being of grace and light. A spirit of passion and goodness. Something within the eye shimmers, hinting at the fullness of glory clothed by our flesh.

I believe in the reality of the spirit. One half of the whole we claim as "I". I believe that it has existed for ages, and that this short existence is but a continuation. What things have these eyes seen? What hearts has it loved? How many long and wondering conversations have I had with people I counted close to me? To think of such things expands the limits of my own abilities to think, to learn, to teach, and to love.

As I look into those eyes, I can see the other direction as well. I wonder what these eyes will hold in five, ten, or fifty years. What things will they have seen? What tears of joy and sorrow will have fallen from them? What will I know then that I don't know now? What will I be?

In the short couple of decades that I've been here it has become evident that the circumstance that constitutes "my world" is not a permanent one. My world right now is college, my boyfriend, dealing with coming out, and working to maintain my relationship with my faith and my family. But it is a temporary world. As are they all.

So what will tomorrow's be?

I know that one day this will all be a long distant dream. Faces and names will fade with time. Passions will cool, while others are ignited. Desires come and go. And work and success mold the future with each passing day. Time is an ever changing mistress. You cannot tame her. You are at her mercy, and can only work out the details.

Such trains of thought bring new understanding of the value of a life. Eternity is held within the eyes of every person. And if you look closely, you can find God in every face. Each day more stories are lived than could ever be written. And each story interweaves with the next. We are connected inseparably to the future and the past. Our life is but a small thread in the master tapestry. Just a blink. A glance. But every glance holds another infinity.


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