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Tuesday, August 31, 2010

The Hidden World

School has started, and once again campus is swarming with people. As I walk from class to class, I can't help but think about how many of the people on campus might be just like me, attracted to other guys, yet a member of the church, trying to reconcile both, and keeping it all hidden and under wraps.

I found a blog today by another gay guy on my campus. He is my same age and found his way into the hidden world about the same time as me. It's refreshing, and comforting, to know that the guy sitting next to me in class might be like me. To know that I'm not a freak anomaly at a religious school. There are many of us, from all walks of life, with different views and religious devotions. But we all want understanding. We all want peace. We want to be happy.

One point in the blog I read today hit me. The guy made the point that often in the LDS community we are raised with the idea that anyone who doesn't fit the cookie-cutter form of a member of the church is a bad person. So many of us who have liked guys for as long as we can remember guilt ourselves, simply for the way we feel. But we are not bad for it. We are not evil. And until we get that through our heads, God can't help us at all. The guilt leaves no room for God's unconditional love to come through.

So, the first step, if you feel like me and many others do, is accept the fact that you feel that way, and that it doesn't make you a bad person.

The cool thing about God's unconditional love is that it is just that: unconditional.