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Wednesday, April 18, 2012


I love this song. (Please ignore the blatant use of Twilight images. If they offend, I apologize.)

The converse of my last post is this one. I am learning to let the relationship slip from my hands. And I am feeling a hope, or maybe just a dream, that something beautiful will come into my life.

When I listen to this song I can almost see it.

I'm in California. I've moved there to work. I've been there for a while, long enough to get settled in and meet people. And to meet him.

I'm sitting in a coffee shop on a Saturday morning. Tea in my cup and kindle in hand. A boy walks in. I glance up at him and almost gasp. There's something about him. He's striking. And there's a life in his eyes. A passion.

We're driving to the beach. I look over at him as we drive, sitting in his cute little swimming suit, sunglasses on his head, locks of hair falling over the lenses. He looks back at me with those eyes and grins. He leans over from the passenger seat and kisses my neck softly. I laugh, not because it tickles, but because it feels so good.

We park and walk hand in hand to the shore. The sun is warm and the ocean breeze cool. It's a perfect day. We lay out our towels and relax. We lie there for a while, letting the sun warm us. I feel his hand grab mine. I lock my fingers between his and give it a soft squeeze.

I sit up on my elbows and look at the ocean. He sits up, leans over, and kisses me softly. Then he rests his head on my shoulder.

We run into the water, diving into the coming waves. The cool water feels incredible on my warm skin. I surface and see him there. I walk up to him and wrap my arms around him. He rests his forehead on mine and looks at me with that look. That look that tells me without a doubt that he is hopelessly mine. That he sees no one else but me. I press my lips to his. This kiss is salty and wet, and the cushion of his lips presses gently against mine. We stand there for a moment, just being. Together.

We sit on the beach, arms wrapped around one another, as waves roll in and fiery sunset splashes against the sky. We stay until it's dark.

We finally fall into bed. Without even a word he reaches over and pulls me in, wrapping himself around me. I put my arms around him and listen to the hush of his breath on my neck. Everything is so warm, so perfect, so safe. I've almost slipped away when I hear him whisper. "I love you."

I can feel the tension in my stomach. My heart is beating in my ears. My hands are clammy and I can't stand still. I look over at him. He cleans up so well. I smile. He grins, those eyes making me melt all over. He takes me by the hand and we walk into the backyard. An aisle divides the sea of white chairs. They're full of all the people who have come into our lives in the last few years. Every eye is on us as we walk up to the front, then face one another.

I can't hear the words being said. All I can see is this boy. This boy, how did this happen? How did I end up here? It doesn't even seem real. But it is real. And he's looking at me with that look, as striking as that day in the coffee shop, as deep as that day on the beach. I hear nothing, but through wet eyes I see it all. I see, and I understand.

The song starts playing. We walk hand in hand onto the portable dance floor placed in the yard. He puts his arms around me, and I around him. And as she sings I feel every single word.

"I have died every day waiting for you.
Darling, don't be afraid, I have loved you
For a thousand years.
I'll love you for a thousand more..."


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