First of all, I never really intended to write a blog, or publish my thoughts about any of this. Yet here I am. I have been a member of the LDS church my entire life. Since I was a child it was something I loved. And I have known that I was attracted to other guys since I was twelve. Needless to say, the years between then and now have been filled with conflict and uncertainty. The last ten months especially have been full of both incredible happiness, and crushing sorrow. It is a situation that many in my shoes experience.
I have studied the way I feel for many years now. I have read articles and books by both religious and secular authors. I have spoken with other people who feel as I do. And I have years of experience living with both of these contradicting elements. The reason I have studied this so intently is because I have tried to understand it. Understand not only what I feel, but what it is, why, and how it fits into a religious perspective. I can tell you right now that I never chose to be attracted to men. And I also never chose to love spiritual things. They both came to me naturally, without conscious choice.
The ability to experience things from both points of view gives me a unique perspective on the things occurring in the world around me. I can see from both sides, meaning I see both the strengths and weaknesses of both. That is something I wish to share.
In the last couple of weeks I have felt like I was finally beginning to get some of the answers I've been looking for. And I felt like I needed to share, to make my voice heard.
For those who are not familiar with the LDS church, they may not fully understand my reasoning behind this. As many may know, within the LDS church, things like homosexuality are extremely frowned upon. However, I do not fully agree with some of the criticism it receives from many sources. The real persecution comes not from the leaders or the doctrine of the church (which is Christianity, the teachings of Jesus Christ), but from the fear, retribution, and misunderstandings of the members of the church.
Because of that misunderstanding, any who find themselves attracted to other guys hide themselves as completely as possible. They grow up feeling alone and outcast.
My point in writing this is to offer hope to those who have lost it somewhere along the way.
I feel the need to say that this blog was not meant to be a forum for debate, as necessary as those may be. This is a site meant to strengthen and encourage, not to insult or demean. I would appreciate it if you would respect that here on my blog.